The Highly Effective Man

How to Raise Your Standards and Stop Settling for Average

• JP Bolwahnn

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Every man says he wants more... more strength, more purpose, more success, but few are willing to raise their standards high enough to reach it.

In this episode, Navy SEAL veteran and firefighter JP Bolwahnn breaks down what it really means to live with standards — in your fitness, your family, and your leadership. You’ll hear stories from his days playing championship rugby and earning his trident as a SEAL, and how those experiences forged a simple truth:

You don’t get what you want in life. You get what you accept.

JP shares how to define the standards that drive your success, how to hold yourself accountable when no one’s watching, and why showing up for your brothers, not just taking, but giving, is the ultimate mark of a man.

Whether you’re rebuilding your body, your mindset, or your life, this episode will help you set the bar higher and become the man others can count on.

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the highly effective men hosted by former Navy SEAL attorney. I'm your host, JP Bowman. This podcast is your resource for unlocking the healthiest, most productive, highly effective men in the year. Let's go. Welcome back to the Highly Effective Man Podcast, where we build elite fitness, master our mindset, and lead with purpose. I'm your host, JP Bolwan, Navy SEAL veteran, firefighter, and life and fitness coach. And today we're going to talk about something that separates the average from the elite. And this is in every arena of life, and that is standards. Okay, you don't get what you want in life, you get what you accept. And if you want to reach the next level in your body, in your career, in your relationships, it's not about setting new goals. It's about raising your standards and then on top of that, holding the line. Now, every high-performing team that I've ever been a part of had standards. And they weren't afraid to let you know real quick when you weren't meeting them. I remember the first time I showed up to on back rugby. This was before professional rugby existed in the U.S. And you know, it's the highest level of rugby at that time. And on back rugby was coming off back-to-back National Sevens championships, and it was one of the best teams in the country. Anyways, I showed up um and we were doing a conditioning test. Okay. And this conditioning test was sprint 100 meters, and you had to get it under 15 seconds, and then you had 45 seconds to get back to the start line. And then you had to repeat that 10 times. And by round six, I was puking. I was dry heaving, I was puking, and I was I wasn't able to continue on. And um there were guys that weren't making the times, and they were getting called out loudly by some of the leaders on that team at the time. They're like, this is on back, you know. You we are national championships, you have national champions, you know, and letting everybody know like this is a standard and this is what we expect. I mean, I was new at the time, so I don't think anybody expected much from me, much lone thinking that I was gonna make make the the squad for you know a national uh sevens team. But I'll tell you this after that practice, I knew that I had to raise my standard immediately if I even wanted a chance to play at that level. And that's the thing about being around excellence, it forces you to confront your own averageness, right? Being mediocre, right? When you're around people that are pushing themselves and uh challenging themselves and challenging you, you are forced to either grow and get better or get left behind, right? So you either level up or you're gonna be gone, right? And we had standards in the SEAL teams, right? We had a saying that said, earn your trident every day. And just because you made it through buds, that doesn't mean shit, man. You're just starting. Okay, you have to prove that you belong when you get to the team every single day. Because in that environment, if you have a bad day and you guys are training in a high-risk evolution, someone can die. And that's just in training, let alone a real-world operation. And the standard's not, it's not just about ego, okay? It's about trust. You want to know, you want to know that the guy next to you is gonna show up when it matters most, right? There's no time for off days. He's got to be there physically, mentally, emotionally. He's got to be dialed in, right? And that's the power of standards. They create trust, confidence, and performance, not just for yourself, but for everybody around you. And part of that standard, and it's something that I carry with me to this day, is this you gotta show up for your brothers. You're not just taking, you gotta be able to give as well. You don't just receive uh support, you also give support. When you're part of a team, when men are counting on you, the standard isn't just how you perform, it's how you contribute. You gotta bring the energy, you gotta bring the effort, you gotta bring accountability. I mean, I love the crew that I'm on right now as a firefighter. We got guys that you know like to joke around, but then when it comes to work, they'll get down and work and they bring energy. It's awesome. Because when you show up strong, you lift everyone else around you. And when you start showing up for others like that, your own life will get stronger as well. Now, here's the truth: the same principle applies outside of sports teams and the SEAL teams, it applies in your fitness, your career, your family, your marriage. You want to be a champion, then set the standard. Don't accept anything less. You want to be fit, set the standard that you train daily, even when you don't feel like it. You want to be a top performer at work, then set the standard of excellence in your preparation, in your communication, in your follow-through. You want to be a better husband or father, set standards that reflect the kind of leader and the man that you want to be at home. Because here's the thing when you create clear standards, you remove confusion. You don't have to think about whether you feel like it or not. You just do what the standard requires, right? What you said you were gonna do. So how do you actually do this? Right? Well, you can break it down into three steps, right? First, you gotta look at what does excellence look like? You know, what is what does that look like? What does excellence look like in my body? What does excellence look like in my relationships? What does excellence look like in my work or whatever mission I'm on? And then be specific. If it's fitness, maybe it's I never miss more than one workout a week. If it's family, maybe it's as simple as I I put my phone away during dinner. If it's business, maybe it's I don't end the day without planning for tomorrow. And then you make it a standard, not a goal. Goals are outcomes. Standards are the daily actions that you're taking to get there. Your goal might be to lose 20 pounds, but your standard might be I train four days a week and track my food daily. That's the standard. Your goal might be to have a stronger marriage, right? Well, your standard could be I lead with patience and communicate before I react. Or maybe I do a short reset before I walk into the house and think to myself, how can I best serve my family right now? That's a standard, and that's the difference between wishful thinking and operating at a high level. Okay, so now you've looked at what excellence is, you've set the standard, and then you gotta audit yourself weekly, right? At the end of the week, ask yourself where did I meet my standards? And where did I fall short? What do I need to tighten up for next week? And this isn't about judgment or you know, it's just data, right? It's about refinement. You look at the data and you look, okay, how can I improve here? Right? You're sculpting the man that you want to be one decision at a time. And look, sometimes people think that holding high standards makes you obsessed or intense. Yeah, maybe it does. Okay? And I'll tell you something. There are moments in life where you should be obsessed, okay, because the cost of being average is higher than the discomfort of discipline, right? And men who live with standards, they don't just perform better, they become better, they're better people. And here's the part where most people miss when you raise your standards, you also raise the standard for everybody around you, and that's leadership. Be the guy who shows up, who checks in on his brothers, who brings value, encouragement, and accountability. Because that's what real men do. We build each other up, and that's how communities thrive and how families get stronger. So here's your challenge for this week. I want you to write down three standards for yourself one for your body, one for your mind, and one for your relationships. And maybe, I don't know, maybe a bonus is like how you show up for others. Because the highly effective man doesn't just live for himself, he raises everybody around him, and just keep them simple, right? And just live by them for the next 30 days with no excuses and no exceptions. Then just watch what happens. Your confidence is gonna grow, your clarity in where you're going is going to sharpen, and your results will multiply. Because your life always will reflect the level of your standards, and gentlemen, remember this discipline doesn't start with motivation, it starts with who you believe you are, your identity. And your identity starts with the standards that you set for yourself. If this episode hit home, share it with another man who's ready to raise his level. And if you're ready to lock in your own standards with accountability and brotherhood, then I want to encourage you to join us in the highly effective man. This is where we live this out every day. So until next time, hold the line, live discipline, be the highly effective man. Let's go. Thank you for listening to the Highly Effective Man podcast. If you enjoyed or learned something on this episode, do me a favor and share this with somebody who you think needs to hear it. And one last thing, if you want to work with me as your coach to help you get fit, be more productive, and in general be the most effective version of yourself, head over to my site, higherlevelcoaching.co. Once again, highlevelcoaching.co and schedule following. Thank you again. Let's get it.