The Highly Effective Man
Welcome to "The Highly Effective Man", where we focus on helping busy men unlock their full potential through mindset, fitness, and nutrition. Hosted by a 13-year Navy SEAL veteran, former college football player, firefighter, life and fitness coach, and competitive jiu-jitsu athlete, this podcast delivers no-nonsense strategies for men looking to excel in all areas of life.
Whether you’re balancing work, family, or just looking to break through your fitness plateaus, each episode provides practical, actionable advice to build self-discipline, master your health, and achieve success. From personalized workout plans to overcoming mental barriers, we dive deep into what it takes to become the best version of yourself—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Get ready to tap into the mindset of high performers and take your health journey to the next level. Stay strong, stay focused, and become the highly effective man you were meant to be.
The Highly Effective Man
Why Most Men Fail (and How to Build Unstoppable Self-Belief)
What if the only thing holding you back isn’t your past, your age, or your circumstances—but your belief?
In this episode of The Highly Effective Man Podcast, I share my raw story of going from juvenile detention at 15 to earning the Trident as a Navy SEAL, playing Division 1 football in my 30s, and becoming a firefighter in my 40s.
You’ll learn:
- Why adversity doesn’t define your future—it forges it.
- How believing you can, fuels relentless action when motivation dies.
- Why your identity—who you decide you are—will always beat your circumstances.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, underestimated, or like it’s “too late” for you, this episode will show you how to flip that belief and prove yourself wrong.
When you’re ready to build unshakable belief, elite fitness, and the discipline to lead at home, work, and in life—join us inside the Highly Effective Man Inner Circle. Spots are available now at a special price for the first 50 men. Click the link in the description and take the next step today.
Welcome to the Highly Effective man podcast, hosted by former Navy SEAL turned life and fitness coach. I'm your host, jp Bolwan. This podcast is your resource for unlocking the healthiest, most productive and highly effective man within you. Let's go. What's up, guys? Welcome back to the Highly Effective man podcast.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this have you ever felt like your life didn't go the way you thought it would? Maybe you had a dream, but that door just never opened. And now you're stuck wondering if you missed your chance. Well, here's the truth Most men don't fail because they lack talent. They fail because they stop believing in themselves. And without belief, you don't even get in the game. But once you believe, once you truly believe, you're capable of more than you ever thought possible and everything changes.
Speaker 1:Today I'm going to share with you guys my story, because most people, if you would have seen me, you know, in high school, would say, like you know, I should have been dead or locked up in jail or even worse. Well, actually, I don't even know what's worse than dying right? But one moment, one shift in belief that changed my life forever, and I'm going to show you how belief can change your life too. Okay, so the first thing I want to talk about is that adversity isn't final. Okay, when I was 15 years old, I got in trouble. I ended up in juvenile detention and the most like fucked up thing about it is that I didn't even realize how messed up I was at that time. I had friends that I was hanging out with that get two guys, friends that got locked up for murder and, in some stupid way like that, made me feel protected in the detention center, like I belong there. But at that time that was my normal right. There's fights, there's drugs, there's gangs, there's all of that.
Speaker 1:Then one day I'm sitting in my cell and I get a knock on the door or whatever, and they say, hey, somebody's here to see you. And I didn't know who it might be, but it was this guy, major Barker, who was the ROTC Marine instructor at my high school, and he sat me down. We were talking and he looks at me and he says look around you. He's like you don't belong here. And for the first time in my life I was thinking like, wow, you know, let me, and you know I take a look around and I'm like he's right, I don't belong here, you know. And I think that was the first time in my life that somebody believed in me, and I was like he showed me that maybe, just maybe, I could believe in myself and that I didn't have to stay on the path that I was on and that I could change. So here's the truth. Right? Adversity doesn't define you. It'll test you. But when you decide to believe differently, that's when the trajectory of your life starts to shift. So let me ask you, where in your life do you feel stuck? Okay, where are you kind of sitting in your own kind of cell, convincing yourself that this is just the way things are. You don't belong there either. Now, belief fuels relentless action.
Speaker 1:So when I got out of the detention center, right, I went home. I was on house arrest. I made a deal with that ROTC instructor and he actually showed up to one of my court hearings and was like, yeah, he's going to join ROTC, but I made a commitment to change. I started playing sports again, focusing on football, and here's the thing I didn't know anything about how to get recruited, how to reach out to colleges or what it takes to get noticed, because nobody was guiding me right. I didn't have anybody in my family or anybody in my life at that point that could help me do that dream of playing college football once I started playing again. So, when that dream didn't materialize, the only thing that I could think of doing was the military, right, and I focused on playing as hard as I could, making sure that, you know, I graduated on time. And when that dream didn't appear, I had a choice right, I could let that be the end or I could find another path.
Speaker 1:And that's when the military came into the picture and eventually I set my sights on becoming a Navy SEAL. I didn't even know much about them, to be honest. Right, I just knew that. Actually, here's the story, right? So I walk into the military recruiting station and they have the Marines and the Navy in the same spot.
Speaker 1:I walk into the Marine storefront, or whatever you want to call it recruiting station, and they're talking to me about the Marines. My uncle was a Marine and that was the only thing I knew. Well, as I'm standing there, there's like a cutout in the wall and I can see this. This like TV, um playing, and it had these guys jumping out of airplanes diving you know, shooting guns and stuff like that planes diving, you know, shooting guns and stuff like that. And I was like, well, what do those guys do? And it was almost like it was a setup, because this Navy recruiter because the Navy recruiting office is next door walks around the corner. He's like, let me tell you about what these guys do, okay, and then that's when I kind of learned about what a SEAL is. And you know, I only knew what he told me at that point, you know.
Speaker 1:So I started training hard, I decided to enlist and I believed that I could make it through BUDZ. And when I did, when I actually became a SEAL, that belief cemented who I was. It became the foundation for everything else I've done since. That belief has driven me to play rugby at the highest levels. It drove me to walk onto a division one football team in my 30s. It drove me to become a firefighter in my 40s, you know. And it drives me now as I'm building this, this coaching business.
Speaker 1:Belief is a spark that fuels relentless action. You can't outlift doubt, you can't outrun fear, but when you believe you can outwork anybody. So stop waiting until you feel ready. Believe first, act second. The readiness is going to come later.
Speaker 1:Now, identity beats circumstances. In the beginning everybody underestimated me right. Too small, too old, too dumb, too much trouble, you know, just not enough. But every time I proved someone wrong, I wasn't just like stacking wins, I was building an identity. I become the man who doesn't quit, the man who chases challenges. So you know, when I went through the fire academy at 43, I knew I was going to make it. You know, people said you know, damn dude, isn't that a little old? You know. But my track record said otherwise. My identity said otherwise. That's what belief does. It hardens into identity. And when that belief becomes who you are, nothing can stop you. Circumstances don't stop men. Belief does. Once you adopt the identity of a man who finishes what he starts, who embraces challenges, who refuses to quit, that's when you become unstoppable.
Speaker 1:And if this is hitting home right now, I want you to pause and think when in your life have you stopped believing? Is it your fitness, your career, maybe even your marriage? I don't know. Write it down and this week take one action that proves to yourself that you still believe, because belief is the first step. But belief without action, that's just a dream. But belief without action, that's just a dream. So that's why, inside the highly effective man inner circle. I give you the blueprint right, the workouts, the nutrition systems, the accountability of a brotherhood who will believe in you when you don't. And if you're ready for a complete transformation, my VIP coaching program Rebuild the man, where we rebuild your body, your mindset and your confidence in 12 weeks. Those links are going to be in the show notes. Don't wait until January to start.
Speaker 1:So let's just recap. At 15, I learned that adversity isn't final. You can change your story. And when football wasn't an option, I believed I could survive. Buds and becoming a SEAL cemented my identity. Over time, belief became who I was and that identity carried me through rugby, football, firefighting and now coaching. So here's the metaphor I want to leave you with Belief is like the ignition right. Without it your engine doesn't even start right, but with it you can drive anywhere.
Speaker 1:So this week I want you to choose one area of your life where you've been doubting yourself. Write down a new belief and say it out loud every day. Then take one action that aligns with it and if you're ready to lock that belief in for good, I really want to encourage you to join us in the Highly Effective man Inner Circle. You know, right now. I'm running a special pricing for the first 50 men who come in, so don't wait. Click the link in the show notes below, step up and let's go.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in to the Highly Effective man podcast. If you found value today, hit that subscribe button and stay connected. I want to invite you to join my incredible community, the Highly Effective man. The link is in the show notes below. It's a powerful space where you'll find support, accountability and camaraderie with men who are committed to growth and living purposefully, and your voice matters, so leave a review and share your thoughts and help us reach more men just like you. Together, let's elevate our lives and become the best versions of ourselves. Stay highly effective. See you next time.